


A Smashing Chat for Smashing Smashers™

by childishTOSTINOS (orphan_account)



Category: Super Smash Brothers
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-10-06 08:14:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17341793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/childishTOSTINOS
Summary: Master Hand decides it's time for the newcomers to be further welcomed. He adds them to the official chat, and crazy shit ensues. Buckle Up Gamers.





	1. Everyone Has The Big Gay!?

_**[MASTER HAND HAS ADDED INKLING_F + 11 OTHERS TO THE CHAT]** _

[Master Hand]: Welcome. Please read and follow all chat rules befo-

[TenTickles]: Any of y'all cute?

[Imtheorangeone]: UwU what's this

[Big-Bow]: Well, they'll fit in quite nicely with the other gremlins

[OkEy]: Y'all straight? Bcuz if so B L O C K E D

[TenTickles]: nah, we swing for the same team.

[OkEy]: BaSeBalL jOkE? I'm adding you to our gremlin chat right tf now

[Yink]: Can you guys ever just be normal? 

[TriforceOfPower]: I have never in my life agreed with a Link, until now.

[Big-Bow]: I already despise all of you. **@Master Hand** did we get a SINGLE villain? Our meetings are getting awfully small.

[2Big2Fit]: Sup' Gamers.

[Big-Bow]: Thanks, I hate it.

[TheGlockCroc]: What heathens exist here for me to banish beneath my claws

[TriforceOfPower]: He makes up for it I guess.

[TenTickles]: Sooooo about that gremlin chat

[OkEy]: Right...  **@VanillaSwirl** please invite our friends here babe.

[VanillaSwirl]: Alright, anything for you babe

[Imtheorangeone]: OoOoOo a couple already?!

[VanillaSwirl]: Me? Dating Ness? That was the funniest thing I've heard all day.

[Walmarth]: I shall see these new opponents conquered and slain, truly showcasing my beauty and excelling skills in combat once and for all. Be prepared lesser ones.

[Roy's R Boy]: He means hi, he just only speaks  _ANGRY GAY._ I'm his translator.

[Imtheorangeone]: So are YOU guys the first couple.

[Walmarth]: yeah... roy atleast let me be intimidating for a few minutes.

[Roys R Boy]: you're not intimidating anything twink.

[VanillaSwirl]:  **@TenTickles @Imtheorangeone** invited. Let's blow this Popsicle stand.

[OkEy]: Holy shit that was like really cute, screenshotted. Obscure Idioms? Check. 

[TenTickles]: J u s t f u c k a l r e a d y

[Big-Bow]: Alright kiddos, take it to the private chat. Bow-Jr. wants to say hi, and I'd hate to keep him waiting.

[OkEy]: I wish Bowser would adopt me, god tier dad right there.

 

_**[F.r.e.n.d.o.s]** _

[Yink]: What's up fellow millennials, I'm the voice of reason in this hellhole.

[TinkleLinkle]: I'm the Yee to his Haw

[Yink]: Toon, we're friends and all, but shut up.

[TinkleLinkle]:  _Why are you booing me I'm right?_

[Lil-Bow]: Hiya Gamers, my dad is thicc.

[Lil-Bow];Also I'm a Level 35 Boss, that's just how mafia works I guess

[IceIceBaby]: I'm Nana! Woman are neat!

[Iced-P]: I'm Popo! I like my women how I like my coffee, I don't like em.

[BigBalls/SmallMon]: Sup losers, I have 3 Pokemon and a big tiddie anime BF.

[SmallBalls/SmallMon]: Sup Winners, I'm a better trainer than that idiot and his BF.

[TenTickles]: Can we acknowledge the cute one in the Parka

[IceIceBaby]: I'm flattered, but also gay.

[TenTickles]: Not you, women have cooties. I meant the really cute one in the blue, with the giant hammer.

[Iced-P]: Me? That's..... hnnnggg

[IceIceBaby]: You broke him. He's malfunctioning. So, y'all dating now?

[TenTickles]: Nononononono I can't date anyone. I have like -3 appeal.

[Yink]: Notice how everyone stopped talking. That was the sign. We respect the gay. It is a ritual.

[TinkleLinkle]: I thought Villager was dark.

[OkEy]: Hey babe?

[VanillaSwirl]: Yes hon?

[OkEy]: Can you get me a Hot Pocket?

[VanillaSwirl]: Fine... anyone else want anything?

[Iced-P]: I want you idiots to date

[TenTickles]: I want you guys to realize that you're basically already dating.

[Imtheorangeone]: **@IceIceBaby** hey, look at these idiots talking about obliviousness. They've known eachother for half an hour and I can feel the pining from here.

[IceIceBaby]: PFTTTTF

[TenTickles]: BRB, gonna SD.

[Iced-P]: Can I tag along?

[Imtheorangeone]: Look! A First Date!

[IceIceBaby]: Will you take my hand in marriage? So we can bully these idiots in unison as one?

[Imtheorangeone]: Sounds good, when do we make out to tie the knot?

[IceIceBaby]: Now is cool, come to my room.

[Imtheorangeone]: OMW, but don't let it distract you from the fact that Ness and Lucas are just short of making out 24/7, and they refuse to acknowledge it.

[OkEy]: He just gets me Hot Pockets, and calls me babe... and cuddles me when I have a bad dream... and holds my hand because his get cold easily and mine are warm... and platonically kisses my cheek... fuck  **@VanillaSwirl** are we dating babe?

[VanillaSwirl]: I mean... you make a compelling argument... if you want to we could I guess....

[OkEy]: Nahhhh, we're friends, don't wanna ruin it.

[VanillaSwirl]: Ah ok hon, I'm OMW with the Hot Pocket BTW

[Yink]: Not to be Toon, BUT JUST FUCK ALREADY YOU DUMMIES

[Lil-Bow]: Hey, you guys want to come to my room later? Dad is letting me have a thing, and I snuck out some stuff from Wario and Snake... y'know... stuff.

[Yink]: This is a terrible idea, but what the hell

[TenTickles]: Great. If Yink is coming so are the rest of us.

[Lil-Bow]: See you there Commies

  _ **[Smashing Chat of Smashers]**_

[MarioButThicc]: And that's how I was murdered by a spooky skeleton man

[SimonBelmont]: I apologize my small green comrade, this fatal error shall be corrected through force. Dracula and the cruel beings he calls friends shall be vanquished.

[Thiccter]: Lmao Marth 2 looking ass. 

[SimonBelmont]: Shame on thee for the foul ways thou hath spoken to thine own ancestor.

[Thiccter]: You can drop the act. 

[SimonBelmont]: fine, but I'm still going to slay all the vampires, they're assholes

[Thiccter]: You take one step in the direction of Alucard and I will personally stuff you like a turkey. He is my thicc boi. 

~~DELETED:[Thiccter]:He also tops really well, I haven't walked straight in years.~~

[Sarasabitch]: HOLY SHIT SCREENSHOTTED

[Marth2ElectricBoogaloo]: IHFHUJHFUOHUOEHJFOHJ

[ε1 Dad]: LUCINA I DO NOT APPROVE OF YOU WITNESSING SUCH INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR.

[TactiSIN]: Chrom dear, leave her alone. I can't be the favorite dad that's too much pressure.

[Walmarth]:  **@Roys R Boy** Why don't you top as well as Alucard? I'm annoyed.

[Roys R Boy]: Bet. OMW

[Ikea]: Shit, I can't believe Marth killed himself. Press F for him for the next 2 days.


	2. More Drabble, More Gays, Still Very Little Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ness and Lucas are just one big gay mess, and Samus is extremely annoyed by it. Everyone desperately tries to help, and it helps a little too much.

**_[F.R.E.N.D.O.S]_ **

[Lil-Bow]: Wassup Gamers

[Yink]: HUSH it's 3 am

[TinkleLinkle]: 'sup

[TenTickles]: Hiya!

[Imtheorangeone]: Wus Brackin

[Iced-P]: Mornin'

[OkEy]: BRUH

[VanillaSwirl]: MOMENT

[Yink]: ARE ALL OF YOU UP

[IceIceBaby]: you guys forgot me

[Imtheorangeone]: Go back to bed, you need your sleep :^/

[IceIceBaby]: We live in the same room, YOU woke me up

[Lil-Bow]: Man this got out of hand really quickly, anyways how y'all level 35 Bosses doing?

[Yink]: I hate this family

[OkEy]: Lucas got me like 3 cokes less than a minute before you texted...

[VanillaSwirl]: ONE OF THOSE ARE MINE NESS

[OkEy]: GO GET YOUR OWN SODA

[VanillaSwirl]: I DID GET MY OWN SODA, IT'S ONE OF THOSE

[OkEy]: Fair enough, I'll save one because I love you <3

[VanillaSwirl]: Don't try to woo me

[OkEy]: Fine </3

[VanillaSwirl]: No wait, take it back ily

[Yink]: Hey, see that you octopi? THAT'S the gay ritual. When that happens we all shut up.

[OkEy]: What was gay about that? We didn't even kiss that time.

[TinkleLinkle]: _**THAT TIME**_

[Iced-P]: We are really getting out of hand huh?

[LinkleTinkle]: You mean out of pocket?

[VanillaSwirl]: Sounds like something Kumatora would say ngl

[OkEy]: B E T

**_[Pk_Ness has added Kumatora_FS to the chat.]_ **

[Kumawhorea]: You called?

[Lil-Bow]: It was  **@OkEy**. His Beef mentioned you.

[Kumawhorea]: Real shit?

[TinkleLinkle]: I like this one.

[Kumawhorea]: Wait  **@VanillaSwirl** you upped your game?

[Kumawhorea]: WAIT IS IT THAT CUTE ONE WITH THE BAT

[VanillaSwirl]: You mean Ness? No we're not dating, we just do a lot of dating-like things.

[Lil-Bow]: RT if they're pretty much dating

[TinkleLinkle]: RT

[TenTickles]: RT

[IceIceBaby]: RT

[BigBalls/SmallMon]: RT

[SmallBalls/SmallMon]: RT

[Iced-P]: RT

[Imtheorangeone]: RT

[VanillaSwirl]: WE HAVE/WILL/ARE NEVER DATING/DATED

[OkEy]: What about what you said yesterday?

[VanillaSwirl]: NESS YOU KNOW I HADN'T SLEPT IN LITERALLY 3 DAYS AND WOULD'VE AGREED WITH ANYTHING YOU SAID

[OkEy]: oh

[VanillaSwirl]: What, are you upset or something?

[OkEy]: Wha.. No of course not, it's just-

[VanillaSwirl]: Just what Ness, just what? Aren't you tired of people assuming we're dating, maybe we should cutback on all this faux lovey-dovey stuff alright? It's annoying that people always assume we're together, and I have gotten the blunt end of it.

[OkEy]: alright, whatever you want lo-lucas

[Lil-Bow]: Yikes, guess it's bedtime huh?

[Kumawhorea]: Yeah... maybe I should go.

[Yink]: I warned you guys, we're all irritable without sleep

[TinkleLinkle]: Oh lighten up you, goodnight gamers.

 

* * *

 

 

_**[Smashing Chat For Smashers]** _

[Walmarth]: Why is Ness sulking, Lucas angry, and neither of them speaking to the other?

[Ikea]: I can't believe you can even type after what happened with  **@Roys R Us**

[Walmarth]: He was just using that as an excuse to cuddle and watch Black Mirror... I hate him so much

[Big-Bow]: From what my son, whom I love very much, has shared with me is that they had a falling out last night. Poor boys, hope they make up.

 [PittyPat]:  **@JumpMan** how did you beef with this guy? He's so, y'know, not mean?

[JumpMan]: There was-a never any real-a beef. It's all for-a the game.

[Ikea]: Wait... Pit can't read right? Or write for that matter?

[PittyPat]: It's text to speech

[Walmarth]: All this not reading aside, how are we gonna get this idiots back to normal. It's annoying, Lucas is acting really skittish, almost as bad as when he first showed up, and Ness threw our match because he was acting too pitiful to fight.

[Ridley-Too-Big]: Your one to talk. This EXACT thing happened to you when Roy left after Melee.

[Walmarth]: Exactly. I'm not trying to be reminded about... those days.

[Ridley-Too-Big]: Fair enough,  **@TinkleLinkle** you're the coolest of your little idiot squad, tag one of them. We're fixing this.

[TriforceOfPower]: Great Hylia, Samus sure isn't great with kids eh? 

[Ridley-Too-Big]: YOU SAID SOMETHING?

[TriforceOfPower]: YES I DID.

[TriforceOfWisdom]: Alright you two idiots shut up. Weren't we trying to get this children back together?

[TinkleLinkle]: Alright, I'll fix this, but I'm doing this in the private kid's chat. It would make me an asshole to spread their privacy into the main chat. 

[Yink]: You didn't have to swear, but it is and agreeable sentiment.

[TinkleLinkle]: Look at this jerk, trying to sound sophisticated in front of  **@TriforceOfCourage**

[Yink]: Why are we friends again?

[Ridley-Too-Big]: GDI Just go fix this already.

[TriforceOfWisdom]: Can you PLEASE stop being so rude to children, it's very unbecoming of you

[IceIceBaby]: I just woke up, what's braccin cousins?

[Ridley-Too-Big]: Wait... who else is just lurking?

[2Big2Fit]: Yo

[TheGlockCroc]: Hello heathens

[JumpMan]: It's-a Me

[Konkey Dong]: Hola Muchachalatas

[TriforceOfCourage]: Yeehaw Pardners

[TriforceOfWisdom]: Babe, you too?

[TriforceOfCourage]: Yep , me too. Sorry loves.

[TriforceOfWisdom]: A least back me up in telling our bounty hunting friend that bullying children is unfit of such a prominent figure

[TriforceOfCourage]: I would love to, but those Koroks were just so. FUCKING. ANNOYING.

[Ridley-Too-Big]: That's 2 of 12, anyone else wanna chime in and get these idiots from fighting? Lucas just almost froze my whole ass room.

[GreenMario]: I try not to take such hard stances, but yes it is quite unfortunate they are fighting

[JumpMan]: I'll give my hand to the argument that they would be much better suited together, as they have a team battle coming up tomorrow

[Konkey Dong]: I'll also go along with your plans, and I'm assuming Ness would agree.

[Ridley-Too-Big]: 6 out of 12. Zelda, you can suck it. One more and we're forcing these idiots to suck it up and stop fighting,

[F-ZeroNewGames]: YES! (≧ω≦)ゞ

[Ridley-Too-Big]: A. WTF was that Falcon, B. That's 7. Zelda, if I had to say it again, YOU CAN SUCK IT. @TinkleLinkle fix this

[TriforceOfWisdom]: Is that an offer?

[TinkleLinkle]: On It Samus (≧ω≦)ゞ

[Ridley-Too-Big]: God, not you too

[TriforceOfCourage]: I approve.

[TinkleLinkle]:I'm going to leave now...

_**[F.R.E.N.D.O.S.]** _

[TinkleLinkle]:  **@OkEy @VanillaSwirl** can you too stop? Samus is going to murder me if you don't. Like, go back to calling each other babe and stuff.

[VanillaSwirl]: I was never upset, it was Ness

[Yink]: It's not very fair to blame others. Hoarding emotions isn't exactly a great way to deal with them either

[VanillaSwirl]: Hey, Confucius, It's a stupid little argument.

[OkEy]: You haven't spoken to me all day and this argument is just "a stupid little thing?"

_**[Private Messages]** _

[Yink]: Just let them handle it, stay quiet

[TinkleLinkle]: Anything for you Daddy

[Yink]: We're the same person, never call me that again heathen

[TinkleLinkle]: Really feeling the friendship there bud

[Yink]: Oh hush, let's go lurk in the main chat

[TinkleLinkle]: Fine

_**[F.R.E.N.D.O.S]** _

[VanillaSwirl]: No, Ness, I was just

[Ness]: Just what?!

[VanillaSwirl]: OH DON'T QUOTE ME LIKE THAT

[OkEy]: WHY NOT LUCAS? 

[VanillaSwirl]: I DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU, JUST LAST NIGHT I BROUGHT YOU LIKE 3 COKES, YOU STILL DRANK MINE. HOT POCKETS, DAILY!! NESS, WHAT IS THERE THAT YOU COULD POSSIBLY COMPLAIN ABOUT?

[OkEy]: I... i didn't realize it was like that

[VanillaSwirl]: HOW ELSE WAS IT

[OkEy]: You always just seemed so... willing... to help. I just didn't realize it was taking advantage of you...

[VanillaSwirl]: Ness I didn't

[OkEy]: No, it's alright I understand. I just didn't notice how mean I was being.

[VanillaSwirl]: It... it wasn't just you. I guess it just means I was being too complacent. I'm really sorry

[OkEy]: How could you possibly be sorry Lucas

[VanillaSwirl]: I should've said it if I was upset.

[Yink]: Oh thank Hylia, you two are done fighting. Now just like, hug or something so Samus doesn't kill someone. More specifically Toon.

[OkEy]: I guess I should be more active in this friendship then. I'll come to your room this time?

[VanillaSwirl]: That... would be nice.

[TenTickles]: Oh, are they done?  **@Everyone** it's safe to come out now.

[IceIceBaby]: I'm Gay

[Yink]: Not what he meant but we support you anyway.

[TinkleLinkle]: I should tell everyone the good news.

_**[Smashing Chat For Smashers]** _

[TinkleLinkle]: Operation Way 2 Gay is finished successfully

[Ridley-Too-Big]: Don't ever call it that or anything similar ever again

[Big-Bow]: I'm just glad the boys are happy again. Why haven't I seen them since?

[TinkleLinkle]: They went to Lucas's room to hug and make up and stuff idk

[Ikea]:  _ **OH**_

[TinkleLinkle]: What?

[Yink]: You really don't know

[TinkleLinkle]: No?

[Yink]:  _If any of you corrupt him I will cut you down like the grass you all are beneath my feet_

[2Big2Fit]: IT MEANS THEY'RE GUNNA F-

[2Big2Fit]: Nevermind.  **@TriforceOfCourage** **@TriforceOfWisdom @TriforceOfPower** who is this sassy young child?

[TriforceOfPower]: He is my favorite,  **@Yink** want to come to our villain meetings?

[Yink]: I would love to

[TinkleLinkle]: I'm going to go check on them...

[Big-Bow]: I wouldn't recommend that Toon

[Yink]: It's alright I doubt they would be there already.

[TinkleLinkle]: Alright I'll be back,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked this chapter, expect a new one very, very soon. The next one will be out of chatroom, featuring a curious Toon Link, and 2 very gay bois. Love you guys so much, and thanks for reading!


	3. I LOVE MY SMALL GAY SONS!

Toon Link walked in on something that was a bit more intimate than he was hoping. He knocked, and he had heard mumbles that he was just coming to realize weren't an invitation for him to come in, but for someone else to do the same. Ness and Lucas were so aggressively making out, for a second it seemed as though they were in a fight. Fortunately for Toon, they were still fully clothed and not showing any signs of removing said clothes. He stood for a second, waiting for them to part before speaking up. As the two boys separated, heaving breath and the work, they turned to look at the intruder, giving him looks that a drug dealer would give the cops when being found out. "Well," Toon began, "For one thing, I'm glad to see you are getting along again, and for another..." Toon stopped for a second noticing Ness affectionately staring at the taller boy rather than paying attention, "Hylia help me, Ness can you please stop staring at Lucas, I promise I'll let you... finish... in a second."

Ness shook his head a bit before turning back to the boy standing in the doorway. Toon had the single most serious face he had ever had on currently plastered on his face, and he wasn't sure exactly if he should be scared, worried, or amused. Lucas started to chuckle though, so Ness took as his cue to look back at the boy, wondering how one person could possibly be this cute. "HEY. YOU TWO. WHAT HAPPENED TO NOT DATING." Toon Link spat, snapping between words occasionally, a futile attempt to gather their attention, "ALSO, DIDN'T YOU TWO HATE EACH OTHER'S GUTS JUST A MINUTE AGO? WHAT'S ALL THIS MAKE-OUT STUFF HUH?" Right, Ness thought, still leaving his eyes trained on the blonde, we were arguing. Ness debated giving Toon a proper explanation or just telling him to leave so he could shove his tongue back into Lucas' mouth and call it a day, but Lucas answered for him.

"Well, when Ness came over, he brought me food as a sort of..." Lucas paused looking for a word, and his little thinking face almost knocked Ness out cold on the spot "Make-up gift. I was pleasantly surprised to say the least and offered to share it with him, because Ness over here eats almost constantly." A 'HEY I DON-!' was all Ness could get out before Lucas put a finger to his mouth, shutting him up instantaneously. "If you had let me finish, I was going to ask how you kept such good shape shape despite that, but I guess you just can't keep your mouth shut, can you?" Lucas and Ness laughed, Ness stopping his laugh halfway just to make sure he savored both Lucas and his smile, both of which he missed dearly the past day. "Anyways, we were eating, and I ask him why he was all riled up about me saying we weren't dating, to which he looked down a little and ate some of MY fries. So I ate some of his. Then he threw one. Lo and behold, there were fries everywhere within the next 5 minutes and we were grinning like idiots." He paused, allowing his fellow blonde to look around at the mess he was sitting in with Ness, who had somehow crawled his way under Lucas' arm. "Ness threw a fry, and I caught it with my mouth," Lucas once again paused, this time involuntarily. He was beaming with pride, and wouldn't continue until Ness had reminded him how much of a good job that had been. "And so he asked me to return it. I politely declined telling him to quote 'Bite Me.' which he did," Lucas momentarily pulled his shirt down, showing the teeth marks on his shoulder, "Before asking me again to return his fry. I told him he would have to come take it, and that was my first kiss. It just kind of happened in the heat of the moment, and Ness was just... really cute, so I didn't want to stop him. We broke apart, and then we just kind of sat there for a little while."

Ness was stunned, he looked up slightly from underneath the taller boy's arm before wrapping his arms around him. "AWE, LUKE, THAT WAS AMAZING! YOU WERE SO BRAVE!" Lucas faked a cough, hiding his now growing blush inside the crook of his elbow. "But, it wasn't brave enough to hid some of the details you left out... plus... well, I think I should answer your question." Ness than remembered exactly why they were talking "Crap, right, Toon, we're still not dating, this was just a thing between bros." Ness realized that he couldn't even lie to himself at this point, but it didn't hurt to atleast try and help the situation. "Anyways this idiot," he motioned upwards, "just stood there in awe for a while after the first one, and I thought I had killed him. He just goes 'wow' and flops down on his bed. He then asks me to pinch him, which I dd, gladly" he gave a teasing glare upwards, which Lucas answered by pressing a short kiss to the boy's forehead. "And the next thing he says to me is 'this is the most realistic dream ever,' as if my tongue wasn't just in his mouth. HOW RUDE. So he just up and kisses me back, almost lifting me off the ground he's that tall. I just let it happen since I had kissed him in the first place, and next thing you know we were on his bed, making out and shiz. At one point he realized it wasn't a dream, paused completely still for a second, and then collapsed on top of me. He chuckles, which I immediately assume is an invitation to continue as his chuckle could slay gods, and that's where we were when you walked in Toon!"

Toon was left in utter shock. Yeah, not dating his ass. He watched as the two began to quarrel over small details, and realized that these two idiots were almost married at this point. "Enough, can I be best man?" all he got in return were confused looks from the pair "Can I be best man at the wedding?" The pair laughed it off before reminding him they weren't dating and that they were just friends. "Bullshit. You just had a game of tongue wrestling, you were feeding each other, and you guys just almost... y'know... did it. You're dating." The pair looked at each other, shrugged, and began once more to kiss, softer this time, as if conformation for what Toon had said. "Yeah, whatever. I'm going to tell everyone what just happened, and can you guys keep it down a little bit tonight, Nana and her new friend are already keeping me up every night."

* * *

 

_**[F.R.E.N.D.O.S]** _

[TinkleLinkle]: we win gamers

[Lil-Bow]: Finally

[Yink]: Were they

[TinkleLinkle]: Yeah, almost

[Imtheorangeone]: ew gross

[TinkleLinkle]: I ought to throw you in a pool you inksac

[TenTickles]: PFFTTT OH MY GOD

[TinkleLinkle]: Anywas, they were like, making out, yknow, the works, and I swear as I left Ness slid his hand up Lucas' back

[Yink]: Did you remind them to use protection?

[TinkleLinkle]: Wha- NO OF COURSE NOT, I DIDN'T STAY AROUND ANY LONGER THAN I HAD TO!

[Yink]: Damn. Too late I guess.

[Iced-P]: Team Meetup to discuss where to go from here?

[TinkleLinkle]: OMW

* * *

 

The rest of the younger smasher headed to the dorm shared by Male Inkling and Popo, while Ness and Lucas remained in the relative same spot they had been when Toon had left. For only the third time in nearly 15 minutes, they parted. Lucas hated the chill he got, always having the tendency to be cold unless Ness was around. Without thinking he clung to the shorter boy, who hadn't noticed and tripped trying to stand up. He took this as his cue to laugh it off and lay down next to Lucas, attempting to cling onto as much of Lucas as he physically could. He then threw the blanket over the both of them, not bothering to turn the lights off. "Wha-" Lucas muttered "What's going on Ness?" Ness sighed, just holding Lucas a little tighter and hoping he'd take the hint. "Ness, can you please just explain what's going on babe?"

Babe. Ness hadn't heard that word at all since their falling out. He instantly melted, almost crying. He managed to hold back tears and steady his voice enough to tell Lucas that, "You dimwit, we're cuddling, I'm showing you physical affection in hopes that you will take the hint and fall asleep. You sounded tired earlier and you always struggle in matches with no sleep hon, I worry about you."

"HEY! That's no way to speak to your boyfriend!" Lucas reminded, wiping Ness' eyes on his sleeve, "Hey what happened? You alright?" A million things flew through Lucas' head, most of which were ways he was assuming he had messed up his one shot of living with the love of his life.

"I just-" Ness sniffled a little bit "I just love you so much" He then proceeded to boop Lucas on the nose and cuddle into his chest. "NESS~ YOU BIG DORK" Lucas sighed, knowing full well that wasn't it, but pushing it wouldn't really help anyone, would it? "I love you more idiot. You need to sleep too you know, I like your bedhead." Lucas added ruffling the smaller boy's hair. Lucas wasn't great at much, but emotions? Yeah, he could deal with those. He sighed, finally wrapping his own arms around Ness. "Plus, it's a team battle, if we lose this, we won't be able to show our dominance as number one couple? Don't you wanna T-Pose on those Level one crooks?" Lucas had zero idea what anything he had just said meant, but seeing as Ness' sobs slowed significantly, and he could feel and hear faint laughter, he decided it had worked, and his memes weren't in vain. "I love you, and all of your shitty Hot Topic Tees."

"Hey!" Ness looked up, mocking hurt, before stuffing his face back into Lucas' now wet shirt. "They're awesome. Yours aren't any better nerd." Both of them laughed themselves tired, until a comfortable silence rested between them. They fell asleep under the blankets, lights still on, wrapped around one another.

* * *

 

"So," Popo began, "all members of the involuntarily single squad say I." "I'll start. I"

Male Inkling was the first to respond. "I"

Followed by Nana "I"

Continued with Female Inkling "I"

Then Toon and Young Link joined in. "I"

Leaf quickly assessed the situation, taking a mental tally before speaking "You idiots. Nana and... the orange one. Popo and the blue one. And I guess if then Links are desperate..."

Young Link was incredibly annoyed at the suggestion that he date Toon Link. "Well, frankly speaking, at this point I might just date my damn shield. Because like hell am I going anywhere near Toon Link."

"Fair enough Yink, but I didn't think I was that bad." Toon Link looked at Young Link with eyes that clearly showed hurt at being shoved aside so fast.

"Hey," Leaf called, "You two idiots. Shut it. Nana, Whatever your name is. Go date or something. Same goes for you Popo."

"Ugh, fine." Nana, desperate to leave the conversation, pecked their new girlfriend on the cheek. "Happy now?"

"Me? Yeah. Why don't you ask that discount calamari ring."

"I'm also extremely happy, despite the fact that I have literally slept with Nana on multiple occasions, I will now accept that we are officially dating. Me and my anime GF are going to bed now." With that Nana was picked up and carried to their room.

"So," Leaf said standing up, "I'm going to leave, Popo, Squidward, figure it out."


	4. Chrom and Robin attempt to Dad™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to the commenter who left the comment with this chapter idea/name. It just made so much sense I had to make it lol, so here we go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> References to NSFW in this chapter, but nothing explicit. I will be writing explicit add-on chapters separately, so stay tuned.

Robin woke up to his phone buzzing, repeatedly.

[ε1 Dad]: Hon

[ε1 Dad]: Babe

[ε1 Dad]: Person I found lying in a field, who now owes me.

Great. Here we go. Chrom was going to beg him for something stupid, he was going to say no, they were going to sleep together, he'd say yes, Chrom would tell Lucina who much 'convincing' it took, they were going to look like idiots. The happiest damn idiots Robin had ever seen.

[TactiSIN]: GDI what do you want now Chrom

[ε1 Dad]: Remember that boy we met. Blond, big sword, red clothes, kinda short?

[TactiSIN]: you're leaving me for shulk?

[ε1 Dad]: No... but Lucina

[TactiSIN]: Oh great, our daughter is dating isn't she?

[ε1 Dad]: Dating is a strong term, more like 'Going Out With'

[TactiSIN]: you are a complete dumbass, and also no, she will not be doing anything of the sort while under my guidance.

[ε1 Dad]:and why not? I lived with my older sister when we fir-

[TactiSIN]: NOPENOPENOPE. I don't want to imagine t h at.

[ε1 Dad]: Why must your mind constantly be damned to the gutter my love.

[TactiSIN]: DON'T WOO ME. I SAID NO. I WILL NOT ALLOW IT.

**[ε1 Dad is now offline]**

 

**[Smashing Chat for Smashing Smashers]**

 

 

[ε1 Dad]: Ike, if you're kid was dating, and Soren said no, what would you do?

[IKEA]: But he wouldn't

[ε1 Dad]: But if he did...

[IKEA]: He wouldn't

[ε1 Dad]: You really are a useless gay.

[IKEA]: Guilty as charged.

[ε1 Dad]: Roy? If Marth said no?

[Roys R Us]: I'd also say no. I want a wholesome child. Although, I wouldn't mind making the child  **@Walmarth**

[Walmarth]: I was summoned.

[ε1 Dad]: God I hate you all. There's only one good father in this entire game  **@Big-Bow**

[Big-Bow]: Well, when I heard about Ness and Lucas, I was entirely too surprised, but I was just glad my son was happy with another.

[ε1 Dad]: Huh?

[OkEy]: Awww, dad :)

[Big-Bow]: Just make sure to keep things safe.

[VanillaSwirl]: ness, get a new dad.

[Lil-Bow]: WAIT I HAVE A BROTHER

[Big-Bow]: Theoretically. Ness asked for a father, and I thought I'd extend my hand in an offer.

[PittyPat]: Aweee, I love this guy. I'd do anything to protect him.

[Pitoo]: Which one of you INSECTS changed my username.

[Gay-dy Palu-gay-na]: *INTENSE WHISTLING*

[Pitoo]: I CAN'T CHANGE IT BACK, I'M GOING TO STRANG-

[Pitoo]: asdftwyhfrhrvfgeswdchcnjwiugeigdqhachqfjquoehs

[TriforceOfWisdom]: They're hugging aren't they?

[Gay-dy Palu-gay-na]: They are. Pit looks... too comfortable.

[Gay-dy Palu-gay-na]: Are they, are they leaving?

[Gay-dy Palu-gay-na]: Oh Palutena, I sure hope they aren't...

[ε1 Dad]: CAN WE GET BACK ON TOPIC!?

[TactiSIN]: There you are Chrom. We weren't finished talking.

[ε1 Dad]: We were, but go off.

[Walmarth]: Can we start **#LetLucinaSmashBros** ?

[RoysRUs]:  **#LetLucinaSmashBros**

[IKEA]:  **#LetLucinaSmashBros**

[SarassaBitch]: **#LetLucinaSmashBros**

[PeachyKeen]:  **#LetLucinaSmashBros**

[OkEy]:  **#LetLucinaSmashBros**

[2Big2Fit]:  **#LetLucinaSmashBros**

[Lil-Bow]:  **#LetLucinaSmashBros**

[TinkleLinkle]:  **#LetLucinaSmashBros**

[ε1 Dad]:  **#LetLucinaSmashBros**

[TactiSIN]: I hate you all. Chrom, Let say I just leave it alone, pretend none of this ever happened, let Lucina do this whole 'Dating' thing. What do I get out of it?

[ε1 Dad]: Well, the love of your husband and daughter

[TactiSIN]: And? Is that all?

[ε1 Dad]: You don't have to sleep on the couch.

[TactiSIN]: I despise you.

[ε1 Dad]: Love you too babe.

[OkEy]: Well that was... dramatic

[VanillaSwirl]: I'd say so

[Yink]: You two idiots only speak as one now huh?

[Lil-Bow]: They were like this before they were dating, there's no difference

[Yink]: Fair enough.

[Marth2]: Fathers, was I called upon. My name was tagged multipl- oh. So you've heard.

[ImNotCloud]:  **@TactiSIN @ε1 Dad @Marth2** I apologize for causing such a family disturbance, if there is anything I can do to rectify my mistake please do not be afraid to request it of me.

[TactiSIN]: Is he always this extra, or is he trying to impress us?

[Marth2]: Depends, he's usually not THIS extra, but it get's close.

[TactiSIN]: I like him, but if he-

[ImNotCloud]: Future Vision has granted me a sight into your next message, and I assure you I have no ill will, nor any malicious intentions with your lovely daughter.

[TactiSIN]: hurts you I'll- My Goddess that was strange. We could've used someone like you back in the war.

[ε1 Dad]: Well, Robin, do you have something to say?

[TactiSIN]: I apologize for harboring ill will towards you before our initial meeting.

[ImNotCloud]: Please Sir, there's no need. I assure you I had taken no offense, as I would act in much the same way. Although, if you don't mind my saying, the dynamic you and Chrom share is quite unique. You seem to compliment each other nicely.

[TactiSIN]: Why thank you, I'm glad to see someone taking notice to smaller things such as relationship dynamics. Tell me young man, have you ever handled a support log?

[ImNotCloud]: I have not, but I would surely be interested in-

[TriforceOfPower]: ENOUGH, NERDS. WE GET IT, SHULK AND ROBIN ARE THE SAME PERSON. HYLIA, YOU GUYS ARE ANNOYING.

[TriforceOfCourage]: Yeah, now that you mention it, Lucina and Chrom are also nearly identical personality wise.

[TriforceOfWisdom]: I guess family dynamics pass down.

[TinkleLinkle]: Aww, look at these idiots passing around their one braincell between the three of them.

[Yink]:  **@BigBalls/SmallMon** their stealing your gimmick.

[SmallBalls/SmallMon]: Don't bother tagging him, he's too busy staring at Gary's ass to do anything useful.

[Yink]: Ohhh, so he actually stole  **@OkEy** 's gimmick. Got it.

[OkEy]: I DO NOT STARE AT GARY'S ASS.

[VanillaSwirl]: gfhjujhgiuhhguihr

[Lil-Bow]:  **@OkEy** your boyfriend is laughing at you.

[OkEy]: toon just explained that is was less gary and more lucas. imma throw myself off of fourside.

[VanillaSwirl]: No wait babe I'm sorry.

[TenTickles]: WHAT'S UP FUCKERS, I WAS DOING STUFF.

_**[Iced-P changed their name to Stuff.]** _

[Yink]: While that was quite funny,  _Swear infront of Toon again and watch how fast I can pull out a bucket of water._

[TinkleLinkle]: Aweee, we love a protective buddy.

[Yink]: I hate you.

[imtheorangeone]: can you guys SHUT UP. my roomate is sleeping, and if she wakes up im murdering all of you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter, I just wanted to get something out. The next chapter will be longer I swear. I love you guys.


	5. Obligatory Reference Chapter (Half Reboot?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so a few things. 1. Apologies for the slight hiatus, writer's block kicked my ass and I was unable to write ANYTHING for a while. 2. I'll be trying to write longer chapters, and I apologize for my rushed writing before, I will attempt to write a much better story that doesn't just consist of memes being spouted randomly. 3. I will be putting much, much more time and effort into the series from now one, so please, if you disliked the former chapters, give this one a try. I accept any and all feedback and I desperately want to improve my storytelling. Anyways enough rambling, please enjoy the new and improved A Smashing Chat for Smashing Smashers™.

**[PK_Backthrow and 74 others have been added to A Smashing Chat for Smashing Smashers™ 2]**

 

**[Master.Hand]:** Wait... 74  **@Crazy.Hand** what the hell did you do.

**[Crazy.Hand]:** You remember that neat kid with the odd little mask and what looked like a Stand?

**[Master.Hand]:**  You... you're joking right?

**[Crazy.Hand]:** Nope! I heard he knows Sonic!

**[DearGodThoseLegs]:** I heard my name, and so I ran over! Who's the new guy?

**[PK_Backthrow]:** sonic we get it you're fast you don't need to make speed references every 3 goddamn seconds

**[VanillaSwirlEX]:** rt

**[Link3]:** rt

**[Twinkling]:** rt

**[IronManTheSequel]:** rt

**[Yes.Im.Overcompensating]:** rt

**[IMNOTAGODDAMNFURRY]:** rt

**[Roller2Roller2Roller2Roller]:** rt

**[Thick_Marth]:** rt

**[Link2]:** rt

**[RoyalFlush]:** rt

**[DearGodThoseLegs]:** Alright, alright, I'll take the hint. Wait just a second, is that... JOKER?! Man, how's Atlus doin- oh right you just told me to shut up

**[Master.Hand]:** With those "introductions" out of the way, the reason you are all here. I have updated our messaging software, and thus created a new and improved chat! We will now be able to add our newest combatants, as well as other members of staff, such as our lovely Assist Trophies and Spirits!

**[Crazy.Hand]:** the author was too lazy to write a proper reboot, so he shoe-horned it into the story.

**[AVERAGE_SIZED_Mac]:** the who now?

**[Master.Hand]:** Please ignore my associate. Now then, me and my cohort must be off, matches to plan, items to plant. Have fun, and please be ready for a surprise match happening soon.

**[AVERAGE_SIZED_Mac]:** It's not a secret if you just told us is it

**[Ginger_Marth]:** i'm-

**[PK_Backthrow]:** he just did it to em

**[Master.Hand and 1 other are now offline.]**

**[Sarasasasasasa]:** kssksksskskssksKSKSKSKSSKSSKKS

**[MotherOf5]:** Well then...

**[Link3]:** Are we going to ignore the new guy

**[RoyalFlush]:** oh sorry, but not right now please. im lurking and telling the other phantom thieves that you guys are all dumbasses

**[PK_Backthrow]:** Wow, ok...

**[VanillaSwirlEX]:** He's right, but he shouldn't say it

**[Link2]:** Well, to add on to Toon's unsuccessful topic change,  **@Reggie2** how's the new position going?

**[Reggie2]:** Quite well, thank you young man. Being one of Nintendo's biggest actors, and now head of NoA truly means more than you know.

**[RoyalFlush]:** ok unlurking for a second, aren't you like, a dick? why are you president of anything?

**[Vanilla.Ice]:** WATCH IT BUCKO, THAT'S OUR DAD YOU'RE TALKING TOO!

**[Reggie2]:** It's alright Nana, I appreciate you're caring. While it is a common misconception that my games are a true representation of myself, I am but an actor, hoping to take care of my son and his siblings, whom I love more than anything.

**[RoyalFlush]:** why am i crying in the club rn

**[Ginger_Marth]:** Where the hell is Jr anyway?

**[Twinkling]:** He lost our last match and accidentally scorched his phone.

**[NoImNotShrek]:** A taste for destruction, huh? Takes after his father.

**[Reggie2]:** I should un-invite you from the next villain meeting. But I won't. 

**[RoyalFlush]:** THERE ARE VILLAIN MEETINGS?!

**[Reggie2]:** There are, and I very much appreciate your interest! Yes, myself, and my good friends Ganon, K. Rool, Ridley, Wolf, and Dedede meet up a few times a week to make sure we keep in touch.

**[TheRealPit]:**  and they refuse to invite me

**[The.Fake.Pit.I.Guess]:** Awe, Pitoo, you're not a villain, you're a great friend.

**[TheRealPit]:** Call me pitoo again and I will tell palutena what-

**[TheEnlightnedOne]:** Tell Palutena what now?

**[TheRealPit]:** NOTHING!

**[The.Fake.Pit.I.Guess]:** NOTHING LADY PALUTENA!

**[TheEnlightnedOne]:** Mhm. I'll let this slide, but next time I can and will use force.

**[Link3]:** Wait no I want to know now

**[PK_Backthrow]:** SMHSMHSMSMH

  **[Master.Hand is Online]**

**[Master.Hand]:** Really? My goddamn coffee machine?

**[Master.Hand]:** It's busted, and I'm thirsty

**[NoImNotShrek]:** And?

**[Master.Hand]:**  Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

**[Reggie2]:** I did it. I broke it.

**[Master.Hand]:** No. No you didn't. K. Rool?

**[BigBoiBellyArmor]:** Don't look at me. Look at Donkey Kong.

**[BananaSlamma]:** What?! I didn't break it.

**[BigBoiBellyArmor]:** Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

**[BananaSlamma]:** Because Master Hand just asked us all why it's broken.

**[BigBoiBellyArmor]:** Suspicious.

**[BananaSlamma]:** No it's not!

**[Boxboy2coming2nintendoswitch]:** If it matters, probably not, but Samus was the last one to use it.

**[IronMan2]:** Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

**[Boxboy2coming2nintendoswitch]:** Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

**[IronMan2]:** I use the wooden stirrers to help clean out my arm cannon. Everyone knows that Jerry!

**[Reggie2]:**  Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it Master Hand.

**[Master.Hand]:** No! Who broke it!?

**[Ginger_Marth]:** Master Hand... Luncina's been awfully quiet.

**[Lady_Marth]:** REALLY?!

**[Master.Hand > Crazy.Hand Private Messages]**

**[Master.Hand]:**  I broke it. It burned me so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a Pikmin on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.


End file.
